On Becoming a Stay-At-Home Mom

Never have I thought that I would become a stay-at-home mom. In college, I dreamt of having a flourishing career. I see myself moving up the ranks and reaping the fruits of my labor. I graduated with a degree in Bachelor of Arts in Communication Arts then began my career in Advertising, which lasted for 3 years.

I had a chance to travel to the US together with my younger sister and my younger brother. My short stint in the US was a turning point in my life. Actually, all three of us were in a crossroad. We had a choice of either staying in America for good or coming home to the Philippines. My sister and I both applied for working visas, and it took months before the results were released. We were running out of time and we needed to fly back to Manila or else our US B1/B2 Visa will be cancelled. We both decided to pack our bags and fly home. But, as fate would have it, the results of our Working Visa Application came out on the day of our departure. She got approved. I got denied. She and my brother stayed in America. I went back home to the Philippines, alone, both happy and sad at the same time.

Home sweet home but I was in Limbo. I didn’t know what to do. I still had the dream of making it to the Corporate World. But I also want to come back to the US and find a decent job that pays well. In the end, with the support of my parents, I decided to go back to school and earn a degree in Bachelor of Science in Nursing. I was young, single and I had nothing to lose. So I threw caution to the wind and faced Nursing School head-on. It was also at that time when I got engaged.

It was in my 2^nd year of Nursing School, when I found out that I was pregnant. My fiance and I immediately decided to get married, much to the surprise of both of our parents, since I haven’t finished my Nursing Degree yet. When we told them I was pregnant, they understandingly and happily supported us all the way. We got married. I took a leave from school, to give birth, making me officially a Mommy. I went on to finish my Nursing Degree. I graduated and passed the board exam. I reviewed for the State of Minnesota Nursing Licensure Exam and I also passed. I am a Registered Nurse, both here in the Philippines and in the US. Everything was ready. I can now leave the country.

But can I just leave my family behind to pursue my dreams of working abroad and earn a living? It was a tough decision. In the end I decided to stay. My US Visa was about to expire at that time and I can’t risk being trapped in the US without my family. In the meantime, my husband and a partner has since started their own Construction Company and through prayers, they are doing quite well. I tried applying for nursing jobs here, but the only jobs available are for volunteer work- which enatils you to work without pay. It seems like it wasn’t worth it all. Besides, another baby came along and if I go to work no one will take care of him. My husband and I talked it over and we made a decision that I am to become a stay-at-home mom.

I had mixed emotions of being a stay-at-home. There were good days and there were bad. Sometimes I get really sad because I am not able to practice my profession and I don’t have a career. But what is the importance of a career? Ultimately, having a good career will benefit yourself, your kids and your family. Your career is for them. But sacrifices have to be made in terms of being a hands-on mother.

As a stay-at-home mom, I get to wear numerous hats.

I am a manager. I manage our household. I make sure that everything in the house is running smoothly, from cleaning, cooking to taking care of the kids.

I am a chef. I love to cook. I go to the market, I plan and prepare meals for my family. I make snacks for my children, at home and at school.

I am a teacher. I teach them the alphabet, numbers, shapes and colors. I teach them about God and how to pray. I teach them about life.

I am a nurse. I manage the health of my family. When they get sick I am with them round the clock, giving them medicines and lots of love.

I am a wife. I am a playmate. I am a dancer. I am a singer. I am a strory-teller. I am a stylist. I am a counselor. The list goes on.

Your priorities change when you become a mother. The day I decided to change careers, I was still single and I can leave the country to start a new life, anytime. But being a mom means thinking way beyond yourself.  You think about your children, your family and what is good for them.

I may not have a “career” and I may not have all the money in the world. But I am a mother. To the eyes of my children, I am someone important. I can still make a difference in this world by moulding the minds of my children to be good and responsible individuals, which in turn will make this crazy world of ours, a better place to live in.